Apr 30, 2017

105: Red Line in the Sandbox

This week, Ivan and Byron discuss the ongoing saga of the USA vs. North Korea, wherein Trump is going to give Lil' Kim Jong Un a detention if he keeps breaking the nuke rules. Byron, however, is far more worried about Lil' Kim's weight issues and gets a little confused as to Ray Charles' song inspirations before the guys dig into Stalin's skin care problems and other personal body issues of dictators, how the assassination of JFK was really a surprise duel between Kennedy and the Deep State, needing more specific descriptions of open mic comedians, and Margaret Thatcher's swearing-in.

 

Plus: news about overturning a ban on duels between public officials in Oregon, MIT's new book "Communism for Kids," Islamic slavery in Libya, and kicking antifa ass at Berkeley.

 

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Apr 24, 2017

104: Kellie Don’t Turf

In this special Prince memorial episode, Ivan and Byron riff on Tory leadership candidate Kellie Leitch's straight-out-of-the-1950s anti-marijuana stance before getting into Byron's favorite massages and anal toy fixations, Gregor Robertson and rising homelessness in Vancouver vs. rising fentanyl overdoses, skinny jeans and scrotal rot, leftist comics whine that audiences don't laugh at their anti-Brexit jokes, and what Trump might do to the White House bowling alley cum basketball court.

 

Plus: Ivan muses about whether Prince considered Michelle Obama a peach or not and claims there is such a thing as good reggae, or there was before 1986. Meanwhile, Byron is shocked to learn that Ivan only smokes tobacco, and Kim Jong Un is the Oriental Idi Amin.

 

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Apr 17, 2017

103: 1984 For Dummies

Ivan and Byron discuss going to see 1984 with a bunch of Commie whiners who don't realize it's about their Utopia, parallels between Newspeak and PC language policing, social media as a mode of compliance, and fascist gays before getting into news stories about weeding out snowflakes during the hiring process, Dolce & Gabbana telling SJWs to go to Hell, and the LA Unified School District cutting funds to schools whose student bodies are more than 30% white.

 

Plus: Pepsi is the peacemaking soda and the SJWs get enraged by that; the Great San Francisco earthquake; anti-seduction laws; campus rape rules, and Byron's tales of getting bullied by the ESL kids.

 

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Apr 10, 2017

102: Make Syria Flat Again

Ivan and Byron try to figure out what the Hell Trump was thinking when he launched some missiles at Syria this week after an alleged gas attack by the Assad government, enraging many of his supporters and enchanting neo-cons and Deep State scumbags.

 

Meanwhile, Byron's too off-the-grid to complain about Amy Schumer's plagiarism, and the gang discuss some news stories about an upcoming writers' strike in Hollywood and billing Mufti Merkel for overdue NATO expenses, plus the KKK's favorite brand of deodorant according to Twitter snowflakes, the Lincoln assassination, the prophecies of Bill Hicks, radical Islamic surfer dudes, the breakup of the Beatles, and an expensive shit sandwich

 

PS: Ivan speculates on Carrot Top & Las Vegas bedtime stories.

 

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Apr 3, 2017

101: Been Nice Knowing E.U.!

Euro Führer Juncker is acting like a spurned ex, threatening to punish the UK for leaving the EU. Byron, of course, has him confused with a certain action hero while Ivan gloats about the EU's imminent distintegration and discusses the difference between living with Islamic terrorism and living with the IRA's terrorism.

 

Plus: Kellie Leitch's taste in weapons, 4chan turns its weaponized autism towards protecting the US border, the Falklands war, viewing TV and commercials through a red-pilled lens, the crappiest banks in Canada, vegans can do anything except when Mount Everest says otherwise, and brainwashing the biology out of small children.

 

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